Heartbroken

Bella got hit and killed by a car last night.  We are devastated.  Heartbroken.  Beyond sad.  We said our goodbyes and buried her in the backyard earlier today.  Now the even harder part starts.  Imagining I see her all over the house.  Imagining I hear her collar jangling.  Imagining I'm hearing her scratching at the back door.  We crawled into bed to try and rest while the kids napped, but it just wasn't happening.  We were recalling so many of our memories of her.  Seriously, she was the coolest, smartest, most loving cat.
A few of our fondest memories:
How she would follow us on our family walks.  People always commented that she was like a dog.
Her little nose nips, which of course were her kisses for us.
Her insane ability to jump places no cat should ever jump.
Her love of running through the snow, which I don't think is typical cat behavior.  
How she would chase Jeff's car down Brookhill Drive when he got home.
How she would sit in front of our neighbor Mary's windows and make her dogs inside go crazy.
How she was incredibly patient with the kids.  She took a beating the past few years as they were learning to play nicely with her.  Miles was getting so great at giving her love and attention, something I feel like I didn't do such a great job of these last few years.  Life is crazy, you know, and it's hard to find the time for everything, so unfortunately she got pushed away a lot.  I am feeling super guilty that I didn't take just a little more time to pet her or let her sit on my lap or let her sleep with Miles even if that meant he might wake in the night.  Now I wish I had just one more chance to give her some love, scratch her chin and let her know just how awesome a cat she was.
I hope it was quick and painless.  I hope it's a bold lesson to the kids to stay out of the road.  I hope from now on I can spare just a few extra seconds of time to show everyone around me...human and pet...just how much I love them.
The kids took it surprisingly well considering Jeff and I have pretty much been off the deep end since we found her.  They gave her a little pat on the back and said goodbye.  Before Miles went down for a nap he said,"I should have made a spaceship with bright lights on it that Bella could have used to cross the street.  Then no cars would have hit her."
We just laughed and cried as we picked a few of our favorite Bella pictures through the years.  We also realized just how much she was always there, always a part of our day to day happenings.  Sometimes she was very much front and center, sometimes she was on the fringe of the action, but she was always there.   

Rest in peace Bella.  I'm a beyond positive there will never again be a cat as cool as you in our life. We miss you little girl.